Born and raised here till her late teens, Lydia Elder holds a British passport, though her heart has always belonged to Singapore. At 19, she moved to the UK for university, then spent the next decade there working and raising her children. In the middle of the pandemic in 2021, Lydia and her husband decided to move to Singapore — a return “home” for Lydia, even as she had finally put roots down in the UK. The question of where are you from has understandably only gotten more difficult to answer.

We spent a rainy morning with Lydia — whose beautiful home is also where we shot our latest collection, Island Coast. We spoke about what home means to someone who not only identifies as a third-culture kid (TCK), but is also now raising her own TCKs, who are just beginning to understand who they are in the world.

While Singapore is seen as a city to many, growing up here was all about being outdoors in nature for me. We lived in a black and white colonial bungalow, surrounded by rolling tropical fields. My brother and I would spend hours outside exploring, climbing trees and building dams. I spent my entire childhood growing up here, only travelling to the UK once a year for the summer holidays to visit my grandparents. To be honest, while I loved visiting all my relatives in the UK, I really wasn’t a huge fan of the country as a child! I hated the cold, and always preferred the food, weather, and friendly culture of Singapore.

Baby Lydia and family. Photo courtesy of Lydia Elder.

I always knew I would go back to the UK for university, but actually moving there was a bit of a reverse culture shock. In Singapore, I am considered a foreigner, however, I also felt like an outsider when I moved back to the UK. There are so many basic customs that are part of British life that I had no experience of, such as the annual Children in Need fundraising campaign that’s everywhere in supermarkets and on TV. I was also not at all prepared for the grey and cold English winter. The first time I got out of class at 3pm and saw that it was completely dark out, I didn’t understand what had happened! All the time while I was in university, I always wanted to move back to Singapore. I particularly missed the weather and hawker food — I would dream of dim sum and wonton noodles.

Lydia experiencing one of her first English winters. Photo courtesy of Lydia Elder.

Definitely. That’s what first enabled me to put down roots in the UK. Prior to having my first child, I had never felt like the UK was home even though I had been at university and working for five years. But when you have children, you want to create a home for them. That’s when I really started to feel like, this is the family unit I’ve created. This is my home now.

It sounds so cliché, but I think that home is just forever moving because it’s where you find safety and comfort and happiness. You can attach that to a place, but really, I think it’s the people you’re with. Previously in the UK, I had built a huge attachment to home as a physical concept, tying the meaning of home to our house and the things inside it. But when we decided to move our family to Singapore, we had to spend a month living out of suitcases in hotel quarantine. I realised we didn’t need those material possessions.

Before we moved into this condo, we were in a service apartment and couldn’t really start building a home to help settle the kids. That period was tough for the children, particularly for my older son because he didn’t have a routine. He felt quite displaced. He couldn’t convey that to us, but he would have angry outbursts or just start crying every night. What really helped was when Bumbles the cat arrived from England, because I think he associated him with feelings of comfort and home.

Bumbles the family cat arrived separately in Singapore to join the family after their hotel quarantine. He proved to be essential in helping the kids, especially Teddy, adjust to their new home. Photo on the left courtesy of Lydia Elder.

I have already seen how the past two years living in Singapore has increased their confidence, adaptability, and communication skills. They are happy to go up and talk to anyone, regardless of age or nationality, and find it easy to make new friends.

I really hope they will grow up to be open-minded, empathetic and have a broad worldview that will enable them to cross cultures with ease. I hope that their time here will lay the foundation for them to feel comfortable in a variety of settings and look forward to travelling and living abroad.

Special thanks to Lydia for having us in her home! A Sunday Bedding fan herself, Lydia loves mixing and matching with Sunday Bedding sheets — her bed was outfitted in Pistachio when we visited. Island Coast, our latest watercolour print, was also shot in the master bedroom of Lydia’s Singapore condo.